The question great managers ask instead of giving answers

I was having a conversation with my husband (who is also in tech management) the other day about how a lot of managers have a tendency to jump into “fix-it” mode. A team member is struggling and we want to make things better. It feels like the natural move.

The problem with solving every problem your team encounters is you’re taking away the ability for them to learn how to solve those problems on their own, or at least with your light guidance. When you jump in too fast, you unintentionally train people to come to you before trying to think through the options themselves.

So I shifted to a straightforward question I now use constantly:

What would you like to do about it, and how can I best support you?

Managers underestimate how quickly they train their team into dependency. Every time you rewrite their work, suggest the solution first, or jump in before they’ve had a chance to think, you take away an opportunity for them to build confidence and judgment. You also guarantee your calendar stays filled with problems your team could absolutely handle.

Empowerment isn’t theoretical. It’s the daily habit of giving ownership back to the person closest to the work.

Why this line works

Asking what they have in mind and how you can best support them shifts ownership by putting the decision back where it belongs. You aren’t expected to have all the answers. The best thing you can do is help guide someone to find the answer within themselves. In doing so, you also surface their thinking. Hearing how they frame the problem gives you a clearer sense of where to steer, and where to stay out of the way.

This approach builds confidence because they’re getting reps in making decisions instead of outsourcing them. And, importantly, it keeps you out of the weeds. You guide, but you don’t take the wheel.